S2 EP :16 How to Protect Your Energy During the Holidays : Capricorn Season & Boundaries

As we move into Capricorn season, many of us start feeling the pull to slow down, reflect, and reassess how we’re really living — especially as the year comes to a close.

In this final episode of Season Two of The Midlife Awakening, I explore how Capricorn season invites us to look honestly at our boundaries, our energy, and the structures of our lives — particularly during the festive period, when expectations around family, tradition, and togetherness can feel overwhelming.

In this episode, we talk about:

• What Capricorn season is and how its Saturn-ruled energy supports structure, responsibility, and self-respect
• Why this time of year can be especially challenging for boundaries with family and loved ones
• How Capricorn season helps us say no without guilt — and yes without resentment
• My personal journey from people-pleasing to boundary-setting, and the moment everything shifted
• Why boundaries are not about controlling others, but about protecting your comfort and emotional safety
• A practical framework for recognising healthy vs unhealthy boundary dynamics
• Insights from The Book of Boundaries by Melissa Urban, including why “clear is kind”
• The importance of strengthening your boundary muscle — with others and with yourself
• Why Capricorn season is the ideal time to start building sustainable routines before the New Year
• A personal Christmas message and reflection as I close out Season Two of the podcast

This episode is for you if you’re feeling tired, stretched thin, or quietly craving more space — and if you’re ready to move into the New Year with stronger foundations, clearer boundaries, and deeper self-trust.

✨ Season Two Finale
I’ll be taking a short break over Christmas and will be back on January 8th with Season Three — featuring new conversations around midlife, healing, health, hormones, money, beauty, and personal transformation.

Until then, take care of your heart, honour your energy, and remember — self-respect is not selfish.

Transcript

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Hey guys, and welcome back to the Midlife Awakening.

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My name is Odelia, and I'm your host.

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I'm so grateful that you're here.

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This is a podcast about transformation for women who are waking up to who they

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really are while navigating everything that comes with midlife.

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In today's episode, we're doing a few important things together.

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First,

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I'll be introducing Capricorn season,

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what it's about,

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why it matters,

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and how we can work with this grounded Saturn rule energy as we move through the

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end of the year and into the beginning of the next.

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We'll also be talking about boundaries,

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why they become especially important at this time of year,

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how family dynamics can test them,

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and how Capricorn season actually gives us incredibly supportive energy to both set

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and hold them,

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without guilt,

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over-explaining,

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or emotional burnout.

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I'll be sharing some of my own personal journey with boundaries,

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including the moment everything shifted for me and how learning to protect my

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energy has changed the way I show up in relationships.

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I'll also be talking about a book that had a huge impact on me,

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The Book of Boundaries by Melissa Urban,

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and sharing some practical frameworks and reflections that you can take into the

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festive season and beyond.

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And finally,

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because this is the last episode of Season 2,

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I'll be closing with a personal Christmas message and a reflection on what this

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podcast and this year have made me.

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So whether you're listening while wrapping presents,

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hiding in the bathroom for five minutes of peace,

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or out on a quiet walk,

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I hope this episode offers you a moment of grounding,

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clarity and permission to honour yourself a little more.

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Let's dive in.

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Music

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Hey guys and welcome back to the Midlife Awakening podcast.

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My name is Odelia and I'm your host and I'm so grateful that you're here.

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Now if you're a regular listener welcome back I've missed you and if you're joining

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me for the very first time I'm really glad that you found your way here.

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Welcome you've arrived at a very on-brand moment because today we're talking about

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season boundaries and how to survive christmas without emotionally combusting or

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booking a one-way trip to somewhere very warm so very festive topics today

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Now, before we dive in, I just want to say this.

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If you've been feeling more tired than usual,

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more reflective,

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more aware of your own limits,

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or quietly fantasizing about canceling your plans and just having a quiet one this

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year,

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you're not broken,

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you're not antisocial,

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and you are definitely not failing at life.

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You're just human.

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And also, it's Capricorn season.

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Capricorn season?

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What is she on about now?

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Yes, I'm back into the astrology.

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So Capricorn season officially begins around December 21st and it runs through to January 19th.

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We have also just had the winter solstice on the 21st of December,

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which basically is the darkest point of the year.

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And honestly,

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it feels very on theme because Capricorn is not here for surface level positivity

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or forced cheer.

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You could say that we've reached the depths of winter,

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but the beautiful thing about the winter solstice is that it is actually a time to

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celebrate the returning of the sun,

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as the days will now start getting longer,

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slowly but surely.

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Now,

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we've just had the last new moon for the year,

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which was on December 20th,

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depending on where you are in the world.

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And this was in the fiery sign of Sagittarius.

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Usually this time of year, you could feel like slowing down and reflecting.

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But I have to say that I felt the complete opposite of this new moon energy.

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If anything, it has given me more energy to go towards my dreams.

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And because Sagittarius,

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who is ruled by Jupiter,

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is also about expansion,

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I have definitely been feeling the need to not only go after my dreams,

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but to expand on them.

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Let me know how you're feeling with this energy.

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What has come up for you?

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It could also be that I have Sagittarius ruling my house of career and reputation,

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so I'd love to hear how this has manifested for you.

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Now, I've also been inspired to try a new ritual.

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It is a solstice ritual where you write out 12 wishes on separate pieces of paper.

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You fold them up and place them in a jar.

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Then, beginning from the evening of the solstice, you choose one.

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Still folded, no peeking, and you burn that wish.

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When you get to the 1st of January, you will have one wish left.

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You open this up and that is what you focus on for the earth.

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The rest of the wishes that you burnt, well, that is now up to the divine to grant.

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So you let go of control and surrender them.

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Now let's get back to Capricorn season because today's show is going to be focused

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around boundaries and Capricorn loves boundaries.

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He is ruled by Saturn who is the master of boundaries and what we need more than

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anything this season is not more presents or food or drinking,

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it is boundaries.

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This time of year we can definitely see boundaries start slipping and it is all in

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the name of family here.

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Now Capricorn is also about structure, routine and building things sustainably.

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Now I know that we are in the throes of the festive season where all the focus is

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on the magic of Christmas but I can't be the only one feeling this need to build a

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more sustainable life,

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routine or structure for my day-to-day life especially as we start moving towards

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the new year where the focus will very quickly become new year,

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new me,

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right?

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So if you're feeling that too,

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I say don't use the festive season as an excuse to ignore what is calling to you.

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If you're feeling like you need a new routine or a bit of structure in your life, then do it.

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Don't wait for the new year.

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Capitalize on that energy now as it is the most supportive right now.

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It is also important to remember that because Capricorn gets a bad reputation for

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being cold,

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serious or work-obsessed,

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we need to be careful of falling into those traps too.

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In reality,

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we can use this Capricorn energy to cultivate our inner authority and to lay solid

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foundations for ourselves and our future that we can build on.

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Capricorn loves to build shit, so use that energy.

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Now,

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if you're thinking that your New Year's resolution is that you want to lose some

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weight and you're feeling the call now,

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lay those foundations now.

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Don't wait for January 1st.

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You can still do that and have a wonderful Christmas.

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It's all about balance anyway, right?

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It's about learning when to say yes and more importantly,

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when to say no without writing a three-page apology or shaming yourself for days on

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end.

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Which, let's be honest, is a skill many of us are still perfecting.

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And this becomes even more so now,

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during the festive season,

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where there is this expectation of having to say yes to everything under the sun in

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the name of spending time with family.

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Now don't get me wrong, I love family time.

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But during this period,

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it can go from feeling nostalgic and sentimental to chaotic and suffocating very

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quickly.

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So let's now talk about boundaries because as I mentioned Capricorn loves

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boundaries and so you do have this sort of energy around you to help you set them

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and hold them if that's what you want to do.

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I can speak on this topic all day as I am a recovering people leaser.

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For most of my life I struggled with boundaries.

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I always had this perception that if I said no to something that it meant that I

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was being unkind or selfish.

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Does that sound familiar?

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Or that the other person would not like me anymore because I dared to say no and I

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could not accommodate them.

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Hello, external validation seeker.

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That was me.

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Then,

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late one evening,

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I had a deeply profound experience with some somatic work that changed everything

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for me.

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Remember how I always talk about those synchronicities that come up in midlife and

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if you follow them,

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you will be led down a profound path?

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Well, this was one of those moments for me.

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I had never done any somatic work before,

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but I was led to this online breathwork session that changed everything.

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Now,

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this is not the breathwork where you learn to breathe properly that you would do as

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a daily practice.

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No.

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This is the kind of woo-woo stuff that takes you to another plane and you go deep

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into your subconscious and release stuff that needs releasing.

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In my experience,

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I met my inner child and it was so deeply profound.

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I had so much love and empathy for her like she was my own child.

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I came out of that session just wanting to protect her and so my journey with

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setting boundaries began and I have not looked back since.

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I was then led to a wonderful book by Melissa Urban called The Book of Boundaries.

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Now there's a few things that I really loved about this book that I wanted to share.

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The first being,

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what she explains is that setting a boundary early and with notice is not being

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cruel or selfish,

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it is actually being kind.

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Because you're getting the other person onto the same page as you.

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So you take away any resentment or passive aggressive behaviors that may happen

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when you end up doing something you actually don't want to do or,

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you know,

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taking away those uncomfortable situations.

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And by setting them early for the other person,

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it is like you are letting them know in advance on what works for you and what

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doesn't,

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so that they are aware of what they can and cannot do.

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At the end of the day,

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a boundary is not an attempt to control anyone else,

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but rather it is a way for you to protect your comfort level and what you need to

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make you feel safe.

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Now, I know, you might be saying to me, but I've tried and they just don't listen.

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And I'm so there with you.

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I know I hear you.

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I have been there.

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Melissa also puts into perspective that the people around you that have been in a

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long-term relationship with you,

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whether that's a partner or a long-term friendship or a parent,

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they're accustomed to the way things have always been.

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So when you start putting boundaries in place,

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this is now changing the dynamic of the relationship.

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and what they used to.

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So you need to give them an opportunity to adapt.

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you're gonna get some resistance because they're getting used to this new

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relationship but the important thing is to hold the boundary because they will test

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it whether on purpose or not most people don't like change and want to keep things

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where they've always been and it's is very easy to fall back into old patterns

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because they have been hardwired to the old way of being and this is where it can

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seem like there is resistance but if you hold that boundary and know going into

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this

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that you are going to have to be strong in the beginning and stick to your guns by

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re-communicating them,

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this can be a game changer.

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Well, it was for me anyway.

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Eventually,

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the other person will get on board and realize that you are serious and if they

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want to continue to have a relationship with you,

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they will need to respect these boundaries.

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Now, that isn't a healthy dynamic.

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So what happens when it's an unhealthy dynamic?

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Well, this is the second thing that I love about this book.

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It's her color-coded system for assessing the threat to a boundary violation.

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And this was another game changer for me.

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So she's got three different colors in her color-coded system, green, red, and yellow.

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Now where there has been a threat to a boundary and this violation could either

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affect your mental health or your feeling of safety,

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you will then assign it a colour based on severity and deal with it accordingly.

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So if we look at what the colours mean, green means the threat is minimal.

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It's the first time it's happened or not hugely harmful.

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It is low risk and you will use the gentlest language as it assumes the other

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person wasn't aware that they were overstepping.

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Yellow means an elevated risk and firmer language.

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You need to be clear and firm with an intended consequence for future boundary violations.

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And finally, red means severe risk.

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You will need to use your most direct language.

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It also means that the relationship is in jeopardy and you are prepared to hold your limits.

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So basically, it's three strikes and you're out.

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I love that she also talks about how sometimes we may be tempted to just lie to the

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person we're trying to set the boundary with so that we can avoid those

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uncomfortable conversations.

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or avoid any potential conflict.

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But she makes a very good point explaining that when you do this,

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you're not exercising your boundary muscle.

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Well now this just blew my mind because I was that person.

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I had never thought that you have a boundary muscle and then it made sense.

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How can you ever be able to hold strong boundaries for yourself if you don't

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practice and strengthen that part of you?

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Now the third thing that I love about this book is that she actually gives you

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scripts that you can use that she has used herself.

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So if you're struggling with how to communicate the boundary in the most loving and

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respectful way,

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she has your back.

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You can take a look at her suggested scripts,

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tweak them where necessary and use them to start communicating what you need from

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those around you.

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The book has been set up in such a great way that there are chapters for every kind

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of relationship.

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partner, friend, parent, boss, etc.

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So you don't have to read it from start to finish.

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Once you've read the first bit,

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you know,

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the first initial pages to understand the foundation of what she's talking about,

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you can then skip to the relevant relationships that you're dealing with.

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And finally,

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the last thing that I loved about this book is the final chapter,

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which talks all about self-boundaries.

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There's such a big focus now with setting boundaries with others,

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which,

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don't get me wrong,

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is extremely important.

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But until reading this chapter,

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I didn't realize how setting boundaries for ourselves are just as important.

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Especially now going into the new year,

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with a lot of us soon setting new year's resolutions,

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etc.

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This would be a great chapter to read before you do that.

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It's making a promise to yourself to stick to something that is good for you and

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what the consequences on not doing that could be for yourself.

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All in all,

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this is a really great book to read and I recommend it to all my friends that

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struggle with boundaries,

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either with other people or with yourself.

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Now that's all I have for today's show and I really hope that you enjoyed it.

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And if you did, you know, show some love by sharing this with someone who might need it.

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by liking or reviewing the pod it really really does help the podcast to get out

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there this is the last show for the season this is season two we're wrapping up and

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i wanted to take this opportunity to thank you for joining me on this journey this

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year if you have returned every week thank you so much for your support and love

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and if this is your first time yeah i hope you'll be back in the new year for

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season three

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I'll be returning on January 8th with a new season of jam-packed interviews to

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cover a variety of midlife topics like beauty,

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health,

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nutrition,

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hormones,

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money matters and more.

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If you would like to continue on this journey with me,

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please hit the follow button so that you will be notified when a new episode lands.

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For now,

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I'll be taking a much deserved break and enjoying some quality time with my two

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lovely boys.

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I will also be using this time to do some reflecting on the past year.

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It has been a rollercoaster year for me with many highs and many lows, as with most people.

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For now,

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I'm focusing on all the highs as I close this year out with a 21-day gratitude

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practice.

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While there have been some very difficult moments this year,

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there are still so many blessings in my life.

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And that is how I want to remember this year.

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One of them being this podcast that has brought so much joy to my life and I've met

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some of the most amazing people,

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some of whom I've had the pleasure of connecting with in person afterwards and I'm

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grateful to now have them in my life as friends.

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I wish you all a wonderful Christmas and a new year that will be filled with love,

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healing and profound moments of awakening as we continue on this journey through

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midlife together.

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God bless and love to you all.

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Don't forget to take care of your heart.

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Bye for now.