S2 EP 12: Shadow Work in Midlife: Becoming Whole Through Inner Healing

 Shadow Work in Midlife: Becoming Whole Through Inner Healing 

 Discover how shadow work helps you heal, grow, and reconnect with your authentic self during midlife. With Jungian wisdom, synchronicities, and self-awareness. 

Midlife has a way of bringing everything to the surface — old patterns, unhealed wounds, and parts of ourselves we’ve long ignored. But it’s not a breakdown — it’s an awakening.

In this episode of The Midlife Awakening, Odilia explores what shadow work in midlife really means and how it can help you become whole again. Drawing from the teachings of Carl Jung, we discuss the process of individuation — where the conscious and unconscious parts of the self reunite, leading to deeper authenticity and peace.

You’ll learn why midlife often stirs up emotional intensity, how to recognise the good and bad aspects of your shadow, and how synchronicities — those little signs from the universe — guide you toward what’s ready to heal.

Odilia also shares her personal reflections around shame, vulnerability, and the power of softening, along with practical tools to begin your own Seasonal Inner Work this cycle.

Whether you’re feeling stuck, seeking meaning, or noticing the same emotional patterns resurfacing, this episode will remind you that everything showing up now is here to lead you home — to your wholeness.

💫 In This Episode:

• What shadow work actually is (and how it includes both your light and dark)
• Real examples of suppressed traits — “too sensitive,” “too loud,” “too responsible” — and how they can be transformed into strengths
• Why emotional triggers increase during midlife and how they relate to Jung’s individuation process
• How to spot and follow synchronicities guiding your healing journey
• Gentle practices to start your inner work — journaling, somatic awareness, reflection
• Odelia’s personal lessons in shame and vulnerability
• Invitation to join The Awakened Community for deeper connection and transformation

 “Shadow work isn’t just about facing what’s broken — it’s about reclaiming what’s been hidden. The parts of you that are waiting to be seen, felt, and loved back into wholeness.” 

✨ Mentioned in This Episode:

The Awakened Community (Soft Launch — Monday)
A supportive space to explore your midlife transformation through guided practices, reflections, book discussions, and expert sessions.
→https://themidlifeawakening.substack.com/subscribe

Transcript

Odelia (00:00.057)
Hey guys and welcome back to the Midlife Awakening. This is podcast about transformation for women who are waking up to who they really are, while navigating everything that comes with midlife. I'm so glad that you're here. Now, tell me if this sounds familiar. Lately you've been feeling more emotional than usual, more reflective, maybe even a little raw. You might be revisiting old patterns or feeling a deep need to slow down and be with yourself. If that's you, you're not alone. We're stepping into a new energetic cycle beginning on

and this one is inviting us inward. It's not a time for pushing or proving, it's a time for releasing, reflecting and reconnecting. I call this period our seasonal inner work and it has the theme of Scorpio around it. It's a time to notice what's asking to be healed, to face what we've avoided and to gently let go of what no longer fits. Because if midlife has taught us anything, it's that ignoring what's uncomfortable

doesn't make it go away, it just buries it deeper until life, your body, or your relationships start reflecting back to you. So in this episode, we'll talk about what shadow work really means, why it often surfaces so strongly in midlife, what happens when we avoid it, why is it so important to do this work during Scorpio season, and how to begin approaching this work in a way that's compassionate and grounded.

I'll share some of my own reflections, particularly around shame and vulnerability and how they shaped my growth for this season. Plus, I'll be inviting you into a new space that I'm creating, which I'm very excited about, where we can explore this journey together. So let's dive in.

Odelia (01:55.972)
Hey guys and welcome back to the Midlife Awakening podcast. My name is Odilia and I'm your host. I'm so grateful that you're here. Now, if you're a regular listener, welcome back. I've missed you. And if you're joining me for the first time, I'm really glad that you found your way here. So this week we are talking about shadow work. So what is shadow work really? When people hear the word shadow work, can sound a little intense, but it's really about bringing awareness and compassion to the parts of ourselves that

we've hidden or denied or repressed. Your shadow marches over self-doubt, jealousy, perfectionism, or even people-pleasing. It's the emotional undercurrent behind the patterns that quietly shape your life. But here's the thing, most people don't realize your shadow isn't only made up of the bad parts, it also contains the good parts of what you've suppressed. Your creativity, your sensuality, your confidence, your voice, your playfulness.

all those parts of you that didn't feel safe to express when you were younger. So shadow work isn't about shame, it's about integration. Reclaiming what's been lost or buried. Let me give you a couple of examples. Maybe as a child you were told you were too sensitive. I know I got this a lot. So you learn to shut down your emotions. That suppressed sensitivity might now show up as emotional numbness. But when you integrate it, it becomes your greatest strength in the form of empathy and intuition.

Maybe you were praised for always being the responsible one. And somewhere along the line, you buried your playful and carefree side because you had to grow up too early. So reconnecting with that joy becomes part of your healing. You know, getting that opportunity to be a kid again. On the flip side, maybe you were criticized for being stubborn or outspoken. So now you avoid conflict. But that assertiveness, when you integrate it, becomes healthy boundaries and self-respect.

So whether it's the part of you you've been told was too much or not enough, this work is about bringing them into light. Not to fix them, but to set them free. This new energetic cycle that we entered into on the 23rd of October that I mentioned, it will run until the 21st of November. And it's infused with this deep Scorpio energy. And it invites us to go beyond the surface healing, meet the truth that lives beneath.

Odelia (04:25.403)
This cycle is not just about shadow work, although you might see these themes come up and support your transformation. It can also be about money, how you invest your money or your partner's money. So again, a really good time to do some work on your money patterns and beliefs. It can also be about deep diving, researching topics that you're interested in, like psychology and the taboo. So whenever it's coming up for you, the cycle, go with it as the energy is there to support you. During the cycle,

I have decided to work on my shadow side in the form of beliefs and patterns that I have about money. Shadow work isn't about fixing or judging yourself. It's about meeting those parts of you with curiosity and grace. When you can do that, when you stop turning away, you create space for healing. You reclaim the energy that's been tied up in shame, fear or control. It's less about becoming someone new and more about returning to who you really are. Now,

Why does this generally show up in midlife? Well, midlife by nature is a transformational portal. It's when our soul starts whispering, who am I and who do I want to be? It's when those old identities, the roles you've played, the expectations you've carried begin to fall away and you will be pushed to start making space for the new version of yourself to emerge. But that can only happen when we start to do the work. I talk about this every week, week after week.

We need to do the work. You might find yourself questioning what you really want. Why are you still repeating certain patterns or why certain emotions keep resurfacing? According to psychologist, Carl Jung, who I'm a fan of, this is no coincidence. He said that in the first half of life, we focus on building our outer world, our careers, our families, these roles that we play.

how success and becoming successful, or society's vision of success rather, but some way around midlife something should.

Odelia (06:31.685)
He describes it as a point where the conscious self, the part of us that was shown to the world, has drifted too far away from the unconscious, the part that holds our deeper truths, our emotions and our potential. And the psyche naturally wants to bring these two back together. Jung called this process individuation, the journey of becoming whole, of integrating what's been left behind so that we can live with more authenticity and inner peace.

So when things start to feel uncomfortable in midlife, the restlessness, the self-questioning, the sudden emotional triggers, that's your psyche calling you into deeper alignment. It's not a breakdown, it's a reconciliation. You're being guided to bridge the gap between who you've been and who you truly are. Now, if we ignore this during this work, we risk staying stuck, reacting from wounds of our past that keep us in the same patterns

rather than responding from a place of healed wisdom. But if we start to actually do the work, to follow the synchronicities and to allow it, Midlife becomes an awakening. You begin to see the deeper transformation and a version of yourself emerges that is integrated. And it's integrated all these parts of you, including your shadow, because at the end of the day, the shadow is the part of us and it's not gonna go away. It is still part of us and it just needs healing and integration.

so that we can move towards becoming a whole version of ourselves. All we need to do is to listen and to do the inner work. Now, you might be asking me, okay, Adelia, you talk about this every week. We need to do the work. Where do I start? How do I start doing this work? Because I want to change and I want to integrate. So this is how we start. The simplest way is to create space for awareness. If you think about a 12-step

program. Step one is awareness, acceptance. This is what's coming up for me. This is my shadow. So when something triggers you, instead of rushing to fix it or distract yourself, pause and ask, what is this really about? Is this true about myself? When have I felt this before? And what might this emotion be trying to show me? Sometimes just naming what you feel.

Odelia (08:56.648)
like sadness, anger, disappointment, guilt can be a starting point. Now for me this happened just the other day. I was sitting at work and someone sent me an email and when I read this email it sent me into a panic and I could feel the panic flush my body and the anxiety. And there was nothing wrong with the email that was sent. There was nothing wrong with it. But because I was viewing that email from the lens of my own wounds from childhood.

it was creating this panicked reaction inside of me. And normally, previously, or should I say previously, this would have sent me into a tailspin. I would have gotten very defensive. I would have gotten very angry, very reactive, right? But I just paused and I asked myself, what is this triggering inside of me? Where does this come from?

And it came from this belief of not being good enough, not being smart enough, not being proactive enough, not being efficient enough, know, not being smart enough. That was a big one for me, not being smart enough. And so as I'm sitting there at my desk and I'm sitting there at my desk, if you had seen me at my desk, you would never know that it was going on in my brain. But I just sat and paused and I went through this process in my head of where does this come from?

Why am I feeling like this? Is this true about myself? And I realized it's not true about myself. This is just something that's coming from my childhood. And that really calmed me down. And I then was able to reread the email with this fresh perspective and it didn't trigger me. And I could see the email for what it was. It wasn't anything malicious. I wasn't being attacked in the email. My intelligence wasn't being attacked in the email.

There was nothing about me in the email. It was just my own insecurities coming up about myself and my capabilities. And just that process, two, three minutes of sitting there and going through them in my mind really, really calmed me down. So when you find yourself going into these triggered states, do that. Just take that, just take those couple of minutes and just talk to yourself. Bring yourself back to...

Odelia (11:23.857)
You know, bring that awareness in. Now, if you're able to, when this comes up, you can journal your reflections. If you can't do it in the moment, then do it later on in the day. If you can't, journaling is not for you, get your phone out and record yourself talking to yourself and talk yourself through it. Let your thoughts spill out, either onto the page or into the phone recorder without censoring them.

Use your body as awareness. Notice where you feel that tension or that emotion. That's what I did. I was sitting there and was thinking, where am I feeling this in my body? And I could feel like my face was flushed. Because your body is going to know before you do. And it reveals what the mind is resisting.

So here's something magical that often happens once we create that inner space, right? We start seeing synchronicities in our life. Now talked about this in episode one, that in midlife we tend to see synchronicities and these synchronicities are pushing us in the direction of where we need to do our healing, where we need to be moving towards. You might start noticing that the universe starts nudging you.

pointing you towards what's ready to be healed or integrated. And this will only keep getting louder until we do the work of healing and integrating. Something on social media that keeps popping up when you're scrolling that seems random, so random, but really relevant on some inner level. And it touches you at your core. And your inner knowing knows that this is something you need to do. Maybe a frame takes you on something that you have never explored.

or never thought that they were interested in or considered, but somehow it just makes sense.

Odelia (13:22.815)
So in mudlives these synchronicities, they often become louder because your soul is more awake. You're paying attention and when you follow them...

Even if you don't fully understand them, you'll start seeing how beautifully guided this process really is. This isn't about diving into every dark corner all at once. Please don't do that. You'll send yourself into a healing crisis. It's all about gentle consistency, meeting yourself with patience, one layer at a time and trusting the signs along with it. For me, the synchronicity seemed to always show up about a week or so before we move into the next season of inner work. And so this is what happened to me.

just before we moved into Scorpio season. It was about a week or two before. This thought popped into my head about a course that I had signed up to do last year, an astrology course, because you know, I study astrology. And it was a course that I'd signed up to do around inner work, inner child healing and shadow work, where you can identify it in a birth chart. It was a short course about four weeks long.

But at the same time, I had signed up to do a more intensive, another more intensive course. And so was focusing on the other intensive course and didn't have time to do any of the work for the inner child healing course. And the lecturer at the time knew this. So this thought popped into my head that, I still have to, I still have to do that course. I haven't done it yet. It's coming up to the one year mark. And I think I only have access to the course material for a year. So I better, you know, log in and start working through the course material.

before I lose access. Because it was something I was really interested in and wanted to do because it's something I'd like to add into the readings that I do for people. And literally a day or two, it was either the next day or was the day after that, I got an email from the lecturer to say, I know you didn't get a chance to do the course properly last year. You weren't able to attend the lectures because you doing the other course that I offered. Would you like to attend the lectures for

Odelia (15:29.44)
this year's course because I've just restarted the course. I'm doing it again this year and the lectures, the lessons are starting on Saturday and you could attend for free just because I know you didn't get a chance to do it the first time last year. And I was just blown away. I couldn't believe that that had just happened within the space of two days, getting that thought in my mind and then getting that validation by the email from the lecturer. So of course I signed up.

And I said to her, I'll absolutely come to the classes. Thank you so much. I'm really grateful for that opportunity. I attended the first lesson and she started talking about one astrological point on the birth chart, which is called Black Moon Lilith. Now, every time I hear someone talking about Black Moon Lilith in any of my astrological courses, there's something deep within my soul that resonates with

just the name. It's like something from another lifetime possibly. And there's such a connection to it. So I always really, tap in and enjoy when people talk about it. And so after the class ended, Black, me, and Lilith, now both charts represent our shame and our trauma and how to heal that. So for me, after the class ended, I went into this deep dive.

I looked at where Black Moon Earth is in my own chart and I started doing some journaling and some work around that based on what I had just learned in class and based on the research that I did. was literally straight off to class into the early hours of the morning I was doing this. And what this really brought up for me was my issues around shame and vulnerability.

So that's what the theme is going to be for me for this season because that's what I feel I was being pointed towards because I realized that so much of my drive to achieve, to stay strong, to hold it together was rooted in old shame. Shame that said you're not enough unless you meet the expectations of certain people in your life or society's standards of success. But over time I've learned that true strength is about softness.

Odelia (17:58.041)
Vulnerability isn't a weakness, it's a connection. And I know a lot of people struggle with vulnerability and seeing it as a weakness. A lot of us do. It's a common thing. So when I allow myself to be seen as I am, even when I don't have it all figured out, that's when I feel most alive. That's when I find belonging, not through perfection, but through presence. So that's what I'm gonna be working on this season. So.

For you, the season is calling you to be more open, more authentic or more gentle with yourself, listen to that. That's where your freedom is going to live.

So as we wrap up the session, I just want to say, sit after the show in reflection about what we've talked about today. Start thinking about what has been showing up for you that you know deep down needs to heal and start today, just becoming aware of it and then start journaling about it. If you want to go deeper than that,

and you're ready to explore your own inner work within a supportive space. I'd love to invite you to join the Awaken community on Substack, which I'm softly launching this Monday. And the first 30 members to join will lock in a lifetime membership at a discounted price.

My intention is that this will be a place where we can gather to reflect, to learn and to grow together through the seasons of midlife. We'll explore these themes with guided practices, reflections, book discussions and eventually expert sessions. And they're all going to be centered around awakening, healing and transformation in the time. Because we don't have to walk this path alone. We grow through connection, through shared stories and through remembering that healing is not a destination, it's a good.

Odelia (19:47.737)
So if you're feeling that pull, you can find the link in the show notes and join us as we begin this next energetic cycle together. If you're not ready for that, that's okay too. Check the link in the show notes to download a little guide on some examples of shadow work matched up with some great books and podcasts that can help you with that specific piece of work. I've done this just for you. If you've made it this far, thank you so much for listening.

I appreciate you more than you know and I truly hope this episode has resonated for you. If it did, I'd be ever so grateful if you'd share it with someone who might need to hear it too. Let's get the word out. Let's heal the collective. This podcast every week is a true labor of love. And it really means the world to me to be able to share it with you. And I say this every week. I do. I say it every week. It is. It's a labor of love. So if I could ask you just one small thing in return, it's...

If you could please take a moment to follow, rate and review the show. That helps me more than you know, in keeping it going and helping me reach others on the healing journey. I truly cannot do this without you. You know, it gets lonely on the side of the microphone when I'm doing this work and sending it out there. And I don't know if it's reaching anybody. I don't know if it's impacting anybody. And to be able to know that what I'm doing is helping, even if it's one person.

I mean, that's truly rewarding and will keep me going and keep me motivated because I'm not perfect. I have my moments where, you know, I've had two weeks where I was just feeling really down and like, you know, should I continue with this? I don't know if I should. Am I even reaching anybody? Am I even helping anybody? Because I don't know if I am.

Odelia (21:39.973)
So that would be really great if you could, you know, show a girl some love. Let me know that you're out there and that you're enjoying the content. If you want to stay connected between episodes, come and follow me on my healing journal, Instagram, and TikTok. I'm trying to post more, I really am, but yeah, I mean, life happens, right, with kids and all the rest of it. You'll find the links in the show notes or just search them at Life Awakening on either of those apps.

And if you want to head over to Substack, because that's sort of where I'm living nowadays, and sign up to my newsletter, not only are you going to receive notification when a new episode lands, but you will also receive a free download from me to you to start your own midlife awakening journey. We're only getting started, so make sure to click that follow button or the little bell so you're notified when the new episode drops. Until next week, be kind to yourself, take care of your heart, and remember, it's never too late to begin again.

Bye for now.