S2 EP 8 :Attachment Styles Explained: Healing Relationships in Libra Season

Attachment style test 

https://www.attachmentproject.com/attachment-style-quiz/

Libra Season (September 22 – October 22) is here, bringing its Venus-ruled focus on love, harmony, and connection. This is the time of year when relationships take center stage — and often, so do the patterns that make them feel complicated.

In this episode of The Midlife Awakening, I’m breaking down attachment styles — secure, anxious, avoidant, and fearful-avoidant — and explaining how each one shapes the way we love, connect, and handle conflict. You’ll hear real-life examples of how attachment styles show up in relationships, and why Libra Season is the perfect time to reflect on your patterns.

We’ll explore:

• What each attachment style looks like in day-to-day relationships
• How Libra Season can amplify these patterns — both the challenges and the gifts
• Practical healing practices, from journaling and boundary-setting to EFT tapping, breathwork, and somatic grounding, to help you move toward secure attachment

If you’ve ever wondered why you crave closeness, pull away from intimacy, or feel stuck in a push-pull dynamic — this episode will give you clarity, compassion, and tools for healing. Libra energy invites us to create balance, reciprocity, and authentic connection — and this is the perfect season to start.

💌 Free resource: Get my 5 Journal Prompts to Begin Your Midlife Awakening when you subscribe to my Substack. The link is in the show notes.

If this episode resonates, share it with a friend, and follow the podcast so you don’t miss what’s coming next.

And as always — take care of your heart.

Transcript

Odelia (00:00.046)
Hey guys and welcome back to the Midlife Awakening. This is a podcast about transformation for women who are waking up to who they really are while navigating everything that comes with midlife. I'm so glad that you're here. Today we're stepping into Libra season, which runs from September 22nd to October 22nd. Now Libra is an air sign and it's ruled by the planet Venus, the planet of love, beauty and connection. Its energy is all about partnership, balance and harmony.

So during this time, many of us are going to feel this energy of being called to reflect on our relationships, whether it's romantic, friendship, family, even the one that we have with ourselves. We can also see this in nature with a theme of balance coming in with the autumn equinox happening on September 22nd, which is where the day and night equalizes in length. So during this period, you may notice yourself craving more connection and togetherness, or alternatively feeling the tension of keeping things balanced.

because Libra seeks peace. You might find yourself avoiding conflict, over giving or smoothing things over just to keep harmony. But true Libra energy asks us to go deeper, to find real balance rather than surface level peace. This is the time to focus on all our relationships. That's why in this episode, we're exploring relationship attachment styles. If you've been tuned into my previous episodes, you will have heard me discussing this briefly with a few experts.

also known as attachment theory. This topic is relevant now because Libre season brings these patterns right to the surface. How we love, how we connect, how we cling, or how we sometimes run away when things feel too close. This is the perfect time to shine a light on those patterns and to begin healing how we relate to others so that our connections can feel more secure, authentic and fulfilling. We have the supportive energy around us right now.

So let's use it to our advantage, especially now in this stage of our life, which is midlife, and we're reassessing all of our relationships. This is a great time to understand how we relate to others and how others relate to us. So let's dive in.

Odelia (02:28.6)
Hey guys and welcome back to the Midlife Awakening podcast. My name is Odelia and I'm your host and I'm so grateful that you are here. If you're a regular listener, well, welcome back. I've missed you. And if you're joining me for the first time, I'm really glad you found your way here. Today we're diving into the topic of attachment theory. Breaking it down so we can better understand what our attachment style is and how do we heal it if we need to heal it. Now, if you've never heard of attachment theory, that's okay.

That's why you're here listening to this show. We're going to talk this through. And also I'm going to be explaining why it's so relevant right now for us to focus on this area of healing, you know, being Libra season and all. So attachment theory, I first came across this concept. I think it was around January, February. I was listening to the Mel Robbins podcast, which is another great podcast.

And she had a guest expert on that was talking about attachment theory. And it just made so much sense how it was explained. And basically in a nutshell, and we'll get into it in more detail as we go on through the episode, but attachment, attachment theory is basically how you relate to others. And there are healthy attachments and there are unhealthy attachments. And these normally stem from childhood, but we'll get into the detail in a little bit.

So first I want to talk about why is this so relevant for Libra season. So Libra season kicked off on the 22nd of September and runs until the 21st of October. During this time, can really, I mean, I've started feeling this energy already about two weeks before we hit Libra season. You'll start feeling this, you know, the stronger energy around your relationships. Either you want to be more connected or you don't. There will be an energy of focus on your relationships. And that's why I wanted to talk about this now.

during the Libra season. And if you're not into astrology, that's okay. I'm going to keep it very brief and very simple. So Libra is a sign of partnerships and it's ruled by Venus, the planet Venus. Now we all know Venus means love, So what is the gifts? The gifts of this planet are harmony, beauty, balance, connection. That is what she bestows upon us. However, there is a shadow side with anything as with anything.

Odelia (04:52.2)
The shadows of this are people pleasing, indecision, avoiding conflicts, to keep the peace, those are the kind of themes. You'll see these themes come up over the next month for you, they'll become more prevalent for you. This season really highlights relationships in all forms, it's not just your romantic relationships, it's going to be your friendships, your collaborations at work, your work colleagues, your business partnerships, and even more so it's going to be the relationship that you have with yourself.

The key reflection over the next month is going to be where am I out of balance in the way I relate to others and how do I bring myself back into balance? Going back a little bit to attachment theory now that I've explained where the significance of Libra season is. So attachment theory gives us a framework for understanding how we connect with others, how we love, how we seek closeness and how we respond when we're in relationships and not just

just relationships with relationships that feel uncertain or threatened. Now this four main styles of attachments and I'll put in the show notes a link to a test that you can do. So you can, I mean, you can Google it. Just there's so many tests out there that you can go on and do and you can figure out which attachment style is yours. Right? So the first attachment style we're going to talk about is the secure attachment. Now this is

the ideal. This is what you want. This is what you want. You want this attachment style because this is the healthiest version. And so with a secure attachment, you're going to feel comfortable with intimacy and independence. Trust is going to come naturally to you. You can depend on others and you allow them to depend on you. So you can, you can hear how there's this real balance between you and other people. And so in relationships, you are able to communicate openly.

You don't panic when a partner needs space. You don't feel threatened by independence. So an example of this is if your partner had to forget to text back right away, what is your reaction? So in a secure attachment, you would assume they're busy and you're not going to, your mind is not going to race thinking they've abandoned me. Okay. So that's sort of how an attachment, a secure attachment comes across. The next one is anxious attachment. Now this is someone who

Odelia (07:18.378)
really craves closeness and reassurance and a lot of times they fear abandonment and so much so that they can become preoccupied with whether a partner loves them enough. that like it becomes all consuming and so in relationships you might overtext, you might over give, you read too much into the small things so you're like hyper vigilant about everything in your relationship wondering what does this mean, what does that mean you know.

always spiraling and going down a rabbit hole. It can feel like an emotional roller coaster really and quite intense. So an example of this would be a partner who is quiet one evening and you immediately start worrying that you've done something wrong. So you try to fix it by over apologizing or chasing your reassurance. You get really anxious about anything. You get really anxious about the state of the relationship. That's an anxious attachment.

Now an avoidant attachment, these people they value independence so much that intimacy to them can feel uncontrollable or suffocating. And so they're down, they tend to downplay their needs and avoid depending on others in relationships. They may pull away when things get emotionally intense or they struggle to say, I love you exactly like what the word says avoidant. They're to be very avoidant in their relationships.

very disconnected, very disassociated and not emotionally there. So an example of this would be where a partner asks to spend more time together. And instead of discussing your needs for space, you would shut down and create distance, right? Because you just don't want to deal with that. You just don't want to get emotionally involved in that. Right. And then the last one, which is fearful avoidance or disorganized attachment. And now this one is kind of a mix of anxious and avoidance.

So they want closeness, but they fear being hurt. So this can create a real push-pull dynamic, reaching out and then withdrawing. So in a relationship, you might long for intimacy, but the minute that you get it, you start sabotaging it because it starts to feel too real. You may have a tendency of testing your partner's love and then retreating. And so this can come across to the other person as

Odelia (09:47.006)
You're very, you're all over the place. Like you want them, you don't want them. You need them, you don't need them. You're invested, you're not invested. So an example of this is you feel deeply connected one day, but then the next day you ghost them because vulnerability just feels too risky. So these are the different attachment styles and you can start thinking about which one do you think?

already applies to you without you having to do the test, but I encourage you to go and do the test because it really is a really good indicator. Now these are real relational blueprints. This is how you relate to people and it's often shaped by things that have happened in your childhood and they're still playing out unconsciously in your adult relationships. So now the good news about this is that these styles, they're not permanent labels, they're patterns and patterns can shift when bringing awareness, compassion and healing into the way we relate.

This season is really going to shine a light on your relationship. So whatever your attachment style is, you're going to notice those patterns and they're going to feel a lot louder right now over the next month or so.

And so how could this come across? So if you've got the secure attachment, you're really going to thrive in this season. This is your season. You have this natural ability to balance closeness with independence. And that really does align with Libra's theme of harmony and balance. So for example, you can enjoy deeper connections while maintaining boundaries. If you have the anxious attachment,

In this sense, your craving for that harmony, your craving for that harmony can feed your people pleasing tendencies. So you may over give or say yes when you need to say no. You've been trying to put in boundaries and now you find it even more difficult or you start putting in boundaries and now you find yourself slipping. And that can be, you know, this energy that you feel over this next month.

Odelia (11:48.661)
So an example of this is a friend might want to meet up with you, but you're really tired and you're not in the mood. And you say yes anyway, because you don't want to disappoint them, right? So there people pleasing comes in. Just have a conscious awareness of how you're behaving over the next month and see where are you, where are you people pleasing? Where are you over giving? And how can you start putting in some boundaries and saying no and saying no to others and saying yes to yourself.

If you have the avoidant attachment, avoidant attachment, over the next month, what's going to be highlighted for you is withdrawing to avoid conflict. You're going to disconnect, you're going to disassociate. You might start telling yourself you're doing this because you want to keep the peace, but what you're really doing is you're avoiding intimacy.

You're avoiding having tough conversations that are necessary. And that could be beneficial in the long run. Become more conscious of that. Where am I withdrawing and disconnecting? And why? Why am I withdrawing and disconnecting? What is it that I fear that's gonna happen if I really just connect with this person, with this moment, with this relationship? And then if you're the fearful avoidant,

You're going to long for closeness and it's going to collide with that fear of vulnerability. So again, that push pull that we talked about is going to be really, really heightened. You could feel all over the place and that could be really intensified over the month. So really be mindful about where you're, where you want to reach out for connection, but you really fear of fear that rejection. And so the season really asks us.

really internalize and think about what does balance look like? Balance between closeness and independence, between honesty and kindness, between giving and receiving. What does that look like for us? Or what do we want that to look like for us? And so we can start then navigating that chip towards achieving that.

Odelia (14:02.932)
And because this season is all about balance, harmony and connection, it's a perfect time to bring in some tools that can help us soften the old patterns and create more secure bonds. And here's how you can work with the energy depending on your attachment style. Because you're like, okay, Odelia, I now know what my attachment style is. So what do I do now? The first thing that you're going to do is you're going to start becoming consciously aware of what is it that you are doing.

Like for me, I know that I am the fearful avoidant, right? Like I'm very good at connecting with people, but the minute that I have to talk about myself or connect based on putting myself out there, I do withdraw and I do close off and this is something I'm becoming more conscious of. how is this playing out for you? Where do you see it which relationships start identifying how you're responding in?

each of your relationships and start off with the easier relationships and then you build up to the more complex or complicated relationships. If you have a secure attachment, this is a really, really great time to just deepen your connections, show your steadiness with others. And what you could do is over this next month is just, you know, try putting in a gratitude practice with your partners or your friends.

Naming one thing you appreciate daily that strengthens that base or strengthens that relationship. You put more pictures up of your family. If you have really secure relationships with your family, put up more photos of them and really enjoy them and really enjoy those connections. Like really take it all in. Reach out and connect with your friends more, you know.

And so the theme for you is deepening your connections over the next month. Now, if you have the anxious attachment, so again, be conscious. Where are you over giving? Where are you people pleasing? Okay. And the one practice that you're going to implement over the next month is you're gonna, you're gonna pick one boundary that you want to put in place, right? And that is what you're gonna, you're gonna put that boundary in place and you're gonna hold it for the next month.

Odelia (16:16.216)
you're not going to let anyone infringe on that boundary. Okay so for example you're going to say I'd love to help but I just don't have the capacity right now and if you want a really really great book on creating boundaries I suggest a book called the book of boundaries. I forget what the author's name is at the moment I think it's Melissa. It's a really great book because

In that book, actually she breaks it down in terms of the different types of relationships that you have and also scripts that you can use for different scenarios. And I've used that book and it's a really, really great book.

So that's what you're going to work on this month. you're also, if you feel that you're up for it, you can combine some EFT tapping, you know, when you feel that panic arising, or you could do it as a daily practice for the next month to help you with your anxious attachment. Now, if you don't know what EFT tapping is, it is emotional freedom technique where you tap on certain meridians on your body, meridian points on your body, and you say certain scripts.

Now you can find these on YouTube. You could just literally go on and search for anxious attachment EFT tapping and you can find a video that you can follow along with. You don't have to try and figure it out on your own and find one that you like and do that for the next month because a simple round of tapping when you're repeating those affirmations or repeating those scripts can really help calm your nervous system and really help you work through whatever is causing whatever has caused that anxious attachment.

Now, if you're an avoidant attachment, watch over the next month where you're withdrawing when there's conflict or where you're disassociating from relationships in what scenarios, what comes up, what are the triggers for this disassociation and this avoidance, right? And you're going to choose one honest conversation that you've been avoiding to have and you're going to have that conversation and you're going to stay present while you're having that conversation.

Odelia (18:22.602)
Okay, you're not going to retreat, you're not going to withdraw, you're going to stay completely present within that conversation and see what happens. You know, sometimes we think that the worst is going to happen and the other person might surprise you with their response.

And so a great healing modality for you to try would be some breath work, right? Short breath, breath work practices, know, inhaling and exhaling just to regulate your body so that your vulnerability doesn't feel so overwhelming. And do like a short breath, breath work practice just before the conversation that you want to have. Okay. Just to help regulate your body and keep it calm. Now, if you're the feel-ful avoidant or disorganized attachment,

That push pull is going to feel really intense over the next month. So you're going to need to start with self-seizing and this is what I'm trying to do. again, notice when you're being triggered and how you're reacting in those situations. So when you're triggered, you're going to pause and if you can, you're going to journal both on what you want and what you fear. And this is going to help you make that inner split conscious. Okay, you're going to bring it to the forefront.

Odelia (19:37.644)
Now, if you want to try EFT tapping, you can also do the same thing, but also ground yourself with some somatic exercises. So one thing you could do is you could place one hand on your heart, one on your belly, breathe and say, I'm safe to feel and connect. And this is going to help calm your body enough to lean towards secure relating. So give that a try over the next month and see what happens. Remember, across all these styles over the next month.

What we're trying to achieve is balance in our relationships, both with others and with ourselves. And so you can ask yourself daily, where can I bring more balance into my relationships today? Where can I bring more balance into myself today? As we move through Libra season, may you find balance not only in your relationships with others, but also in the relationship you have with yourself. Remember attachment styles are not life sentences, they're patterns and with awareness, they can soften, shift and heal.

And now if you'd like to go deeper, I've created a free resource, five journal prompts to begin your midlife awakening. You'll get them instantly when you subscribe to my sub stack. The link is in the show notes. Also, I'm opening the doors to my community next week, where we will go more in depth into this theme for the entire month. We were supposed to open the doors on the 8th of September. We had some technical issues, but they seem to now be resolved. And we are hoping, I'm hoping to open the doors next week.

I have some wonderful healing tools that I want to share with you. For example, some EFT tapping routines that we can use over the next 30 days to help us on our healing journey. There's also going to be a live session towards the end of the month where we can all connect and chat about what has worked and what has not worked over the last month. We've learned about what we've learned about our attachment styles and how our journey is going with regards to healing those attachment styles.

We are also going to be doing a book for the month that we'll be reading together and we'll be doing a session around the book. We will connect and discuss it. So if you're interested in joining the community, head over to my sub stack and subscribe so you can be the first one notified when the doors open. And if you join the community over the next month between now and the end of October, you will get the founding member rates for life. Yes, that's right, for life. The link as always is in the show notes.

Odelia (22:01.336)
If you've made it this far, you so much for listening. I appreciate you more than you know, and I truly hope this episode has resonated with you. If it did, I'd be so grateful if you'd share with someone who might need to hear it too. This podcast is really and truly a labor of love for me, and it means the world to me that I can share it with you every week. But if I could ask one small thing in return, it's this. Please take a moment to follow, rate, and review the show. It helps more than you know in keeping it going and helping reach others in the healing journey.

I truly cannot do this without you. It's also nice to know that there's people out there that actually listen to my content and actually enjoy my content and that will keep me inspired and motivated to keep going. We're only just getting started. So make sure to click that follow button all the time, all the little bells. when you're notified when a new episode drops. Now, if you want to stay connected between episodes, follow me on my healing journey on Instagram and TikTok. Or you could just search The Midlife Awakening.

If you've done the test for the attachment styles, please put it in the comments. Tell me which attachment style you are and what you're going to try this month to work towards healing that. So until next week, be kind to yourself, take care of your heart and remember it's never too late to begin again. So bye for now.